|Flowers from Aaron :) This color fits my blog theme so perfectly!|
(Costco, can you believe it?!)
Then when everything you've worked out to be something greater turns out to be just another failed attempt, you slip a little further down that rope you are clinging to, further into hopelessness. And it’s that much harder to climb back up the next time.
That end state I’m referring to is pregnancy, my greatest idol, my biggest failure, and my ultimate cause of anxiety and sin.
Have I elevated biological children above my Father?
During my first cycle, I had 55+ injections, sometimes 2 a day. I had 75+ vials of medicine. I had 15 lab draws and 12 ultrasounds. That’s 60+ days of not being able to travel, 60+ days of turning down important work trips, 55 days worth of bruises and a sore stomach, 34 metro or car rides to Walter Reed (which equates to 21 hours of transportation), 48 hours of sick leave, 1 friend who came to an appointment with me, and one tired and worn out girl Cycle 1 lasted a total of 73 days. So much for the average 28 day cycle!
The day I was born without a functioning pituitary gland, I gave up a life of medical ease. The day Aaron chose to marry me, so did he.
Amazingly (and this is where I see God more than ever), I am looking forward to cycle number two.
Thank you for reading, your comments, as always, are very much appreciated!